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How to make a life-changing decision

As an adult human, you are always deciding. For instance, you're deciding to watch this video right now. But for most people, their decisions are not conscious. Which is the reason so many people struggle to make important changes in their lives. There's a difference between an everyday decision, like deciding what video to watch, and what I call a real decision. A real decision realigns your priorities. It removes obstacles. It is the starting line for stepping into a new space. Examples include marriage, deciding on a career path, starting a business, or becoming a parent. These are things that open up doors to a new world of experiences and challenges. The interesting thing about real decisions, is you only know if it was real in hindsight. Only after a period of time do you see if you followed through. Did you actually step into that new space and stay there through all the ups and downs? That brings us to the topic of constraint. Constraining your focus gives you energy for what matters. It frees you from what YOU decided was less important, to focus on what is more important. For example, most people say it's hard to find time to meditate. When I decided that my spiritual growth was the most important thing in my life, I joined a group of people where we meditated for two hours every day. My constraint was in the expectations my friends and I had for each other. Most people take on too much, falsely thinking that saying no to things means they will miss out on something important. But how much energy do you really have for what's important if you're always busy, trying to keep up, rushing to catch your breath? For instance, if you want to invest in your relationship, but you also want to start a business, train for a marathon, and raise small children, you'll be spread so thin that nothing will move forward. That situation becomes a downward spiral.
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Why You Fight

I work with clients who find themselves locked in the same arguments at home, over and over. Maybe you can relate: your child speaks to your partner with a "disrespectful" tone. You disagree with how your partner handles the lack of respect, so you jump in. Chaos ensues. Now you feel alienated from your partner and your child. Where did you go wrong?
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The Secret of My Success

I want to teach you the secret to my success today.
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The Problem with Men and Feelings

As a man, have you considered how many of your feelings you were taught not to feel—especially those that could cause you to do "unmanly" things, like cry? If you sometimes struggle with your relationship, this lesson repeated all around us could be the reason. First of all, what does "unmanly" mean? It includes feeling: Weak Sensitive Receptive Unsure Upset Vulnerable Basically it's anything other than the generally accepted norms of manliness, which mean feeling: Angry Determined Strong Confident Successful What this means is that if you're a man and you're feeling anything on the first list, you will want to avoid it, repress it, or hide it from the world. This is because most men were taught that you're not "supposed" to be feeling it. So it won't even register. And you'll miss the tender, vulnerable moments because those feelings are not welcome for you. What Changes Everything
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Sexism and Your Relationship? [Video]

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How to feel attractive

Let's start with a story: Jessica is hurting. She's sure her partner isn't attracted to her anymore. Desperate to bring some spark back to her relationship, she tries everything she can think of: she gets new expensive skincare to make her face look younger, starts a new exercise program, changes her diet; she even tries watching the shows her partner likes in hopes of being able to connect more. But her partner doesn't notice. Jessica is feeling even worse than when she started and is beginning to wonder if her relationship has a future. This story is all too common in relationships. And the outcome is more or less guaranteed, since Jessica focus is on changing her outside to make her feel better inside.
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How to Stop Living for the Approval of Others

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Knowledge Project, where the host was interviewing Bethany McLean, author of Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. She was speaking about why otherwise good people do bad things and she said something that really struck me.
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Its About MORE Than Just Relationships

I am your Relationship Coach.  Maybe like many people in my community, you found me and started listening to my podcast because you are struggling with one of  your core relationships and need some help.
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Is Your Speech Giving Away Your Power?

I noticed something today. Most of the time when I feel a strong emotion I attribute it to the thing I'm reacting to. For example:
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How to Thrive in Chaos

I have a confession.
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