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An Empowering Gift For New Mothers

[fa icon="calendar'] Nov 12, 2018 3:29:34 PM / by Erin Aquin

path-on-foggy-day_925xSome dub it Mommy Brain, others call hormone reconfiguration or chalk it up to sleep deprivation, but there are more and more studies that show big changes to your brain during pregnancy and after having children. 

When I had my daughter, I noticed that I felt "different".

My personal experience with with both my children was that the pregnancy felt generally rough with brief moments of relief and then something resembling elation after they were born.

I remember both times, moments after giving birth, feeling exhausted and marvelling at the beautiful baby in may arms, thinking that now I would finally start to feel "normal" again.

But the truth is that I was forever changed.

And the gift I have been able to give myself and the one I want to give to you since realizing it is to completely let go of the idea that you or I will ever get back to the pre-pregnancy versions of ourselves. 

To a new mother, at first, that realization can feel very disempowering. 

It might hit you the first time you miss a whole night of sleep because your baby is up crying or you have to drop everything because she is cluster feeding and wants to eat constantly for a few days.

Or you notice that suddenly people aren't asking you about anything other than your child and you start to feel like like you are boxed in by your new role as "mom".

Perhaps you are so consumed by the learning curve of being a new parent that you start letting self-care slide and just don't feel as passionate about pursuing your own interests at this point.

This is the "Mom Fog" phase and I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself there.

In fact, it makes sense that your body and mind would want to drop into "energy saving mode" and many studies have shown that this is an important stage to keep you bonding with your newborn.

But as your baby grows there is a moment for many mothers when the fog lifts and suddenly you are awake in this new world that includes a child in the mix.

When the Fog Lifts

For me the Mom Fog lifted when I hired a coach to help me finish my second book.

My daughter was about eight months old and as much as I was in love with her, something just felt off within me.

I realized I had been slowly plugging away at my second book for far longer than I wanted to and the end was nowhere in sight. Working with a coach helped me focus and clear up all the obstacles I had been creating for myself and finish the book before her first birthday.

That coaching experience was a turning point for me to reframe who I wanted to be in this new life context.

But I know for some mom's the fog lifts and they don't have that support to recalibrate and decide what kind of relationship they want with their body, mind, purposeful projects let alone with their partner and children.

Some women just walk out of the mom fog and don't recognize themselves or their life anymore. They feel panic, strain and resentment when they want to feel connection and love.

An Empowering Gift

My gift is to you is this idea; Once you realize you aren't going back to the way things were, you have the opportunity to decide what to do with this fresh canvas in front of you.

These years of your life can be transformative and deeply spiritual as you grow into this new version of yourself.

And if you are interested in using coaching as a tool of support along the way, you can book a free 20 minute strategy session with me to help you re-design your life after the Mom Fog.

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Topics: parenting, Relationships, Coaching, self-care