I heard this great question the other day and thought of all the work we are doing here.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in all the things we think of our partner, what they do that we like and what they do that we don't.
And we forget one very important question:
Do you like the way YOU are acting in your relationship?
I had a relationship years ago where by day, I was a relaxed, cheerful yoga teacher. And when I was hanging out with my boyfriend...I felt constantly annoyed, snippy and wanted to crawl out of my skin.
I reacted in childish, dramatic ways to things he said.
I complained about him all the time in my head.
I found a million things that he did that I hated.
And when we broke up, I told everyone it was because he was an annoying jerk.
But the truth is, he was the way he was.
He actually didn't change much in the course of the relationship.
What changed were my thoughts about him and about me.
Things I thought that were cute at the beginning of the relationship became things I fixated on as rude or obnoxious behaviour later on.
And while I was busy focusing on and complaining on all the things that I disliked about him, I was stealing time and attention from my own life.
In short, I became someone in that relationship I didn't like.
Today, I want you to give yourself a break from trying to get your partner to make you happy. Take a day off from critiquing what they do, resenting them, or waiting for them to fulfil your expectations.
Instead ask yourself these two questions:
1. Who are you showing up as in this relationship?
2. Do you LOVE who you are showing up as?
If the answer is no, then this awareness is the first step in changing everything.
I help my clients become the people they want to be in their relationships and beyond.
No need to wait for your partner to change in order to be happy. If you are ready to not only love your partner but to love yourself in this relationship simply request a consultation with me here
I have your back.