How to Apologize Authentically to Your Partner
By
Steve Haase
1 Minute Read
Saying sorry is hard, but it’s necessary for a strong relationship.
If you struggle with apologizing in a way that is true to yourself here’s something to try: state your intentions behind your actions as well as your feelings for the effect that those actions had on your partner.
For instance, “I’m sorry you feel like I’ve been avoiding you. I didn’t intend for that to happen, I was just very focused on my work. What can I do to help you?”
This way you hear them entirely without defending. You acknowledge that you have room to grow, but also that your heart is in the right place.
You are in this relationship because you love them, and emphasizing that always helps during a disagreement or when your partner says that something you did or said hurt them.
It’s also crucial to remember that your partner’s reactions are their responsibility, and do not mean something about you.
I can’t stress this enough: if you are able to resist judging yourself based on your partner’s feedback then you will be far happier in your relationship.
So many men feel that they just can’t do anything right because of their partner’s responses to them.
It’s your choice to feel that or not. Your partner cannot make you feel worthless or like you have worth. They cannot tell you whether you can do things right or not.
If you are confident in your ability and your intentions to do the right thing in your relationship then you will be strong in the knowledge that your partner’s responses have much more to do with them than with you.
And while that may sound cold at first, I promise you that that is the path to creating more love.
Because a relationship can only thrive if both partners are strong in themselves. If you use your partner’s mood as a measuring stick for how you’re doing, finding stability and confidence in your relationship will be impossible.
