Today I want to share an excerpt from my upcoming book. I am giving this book away ahead of its release along with a stack of my favourite self-developments books to one contest winner.
To enter simply head over to the Apple podcast app on your phone, search Revitalize Your Relationship and leave me a written review and then send a screenshot of your review in an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can also enter by sharing the podcast with your followers on Instagram (don't forget to tag @erinaquin so I see your entry). One winner will be chosen at random on Episode 101 of the podcast.
Now lets dive in to one of the most unhelpful relationship fairytales that needs to die straight out of the new book
Fairytale #1: Relationships should be full of passion
"I dare you to watch five romantic comedies and not spot the formula they follow. Two people meet in some unexpected way, there is instant chemistry (great conversation, mutual interests, mind-blowing sex) but someone or something is keeping them apart. Hilarious mayhem ensues and at the end they are together, stronger than ever, usually with the backdrop of a setting sun or a wedding scene.
We never see that couple twenty years down the road after they have kids and had to re-mortgage their house. We never see them doing their weekly food plan or their taxes.
That’s not the sexy part. It’s the boring everyday life stuff and no audience wants to sit through three hours of “The Coopers Do Saturday Errands”.
But as every real life couple knows, the “everyday stuff” is what we are doing everyday.
This is part of life and it doesn’t need to be filled with excitement. Yet many people believe there is a serious problem in their relationship if they feel bored occasionally and don’t have an unending supply of sexual energy coursing through their veins at the thought of their partner.
I work with a couple who came to me because they hadn’t felt any fire between them in years and their sex life was in such a state that both partners felt awkward initiating any kind of intimacy.
After several sessions of working with each of them privately, we discovered that although they were both genuinely kind people who didn’t argue with one another, there was a mountain of pent up resentment and lack of team thinking around how they handled the routines and responsibility of every day life.
All the intimacy tools in the world were not going to help that couple until they stated handling their relationship to the “boring everyday stuff” together in a healthier way.
Rethink the Fairytale:
More often than not, where there is lack of passion, there is usually a couple who isn’t functioning like a team. It could manifest for you as feeling like you don’t have support for your big dreams and goals to thinking your partner takes you for granted when it comes to household chores.
Either way, its a sure-fire libido killer.
If you want more passion and sexual fire, don’t you think it would be easier to cultivate more of it knowing that your daily life is running smoothly or if you felt like you were working on things in your life that made you feel alive and passionate?
Spend a few moments identifying the areas of your relationship where you are working well as a team and the areas you aren’t.
I promise you that getting clear on that right now will give you the information you need to apply the tools within this book and cultivate more fun, more passion and create a solid team dynamic with your partner."