We grow up in a culture that tells us that the only acceptable feelings are positive ones.
Most of us have learned from a young age that the point of life is to be happy all the time and if we’re not there is something wrong with us.
The problem is that were also taught simultaneously that other people are responsible for how we feel.
Most people believe that you feel good or bad, happy or sad depending on the mood of your spouse or the way your partner talks to you.
One of the most powerful gifts I give my clients is to teach them how disempowering that is and how to change it.
The first thing you must understand is that someone else's words and actions don't create your feelings. It's your thoughts about those words or actions that create your feelings.
If you don't believe me try this quick experiment:
1. Picture your personal hero or mentor. Imagine them staring into your eyes and saying to you: "You are a wonderful person."
2. Jot down what you would feel like in that moment (ex. touched, loved, exhilarated, grateful abundant)
3. Now picture someone you don't like or trust and whose opinion you don't respect AT ALL. Imagine them staring into your eyes and saying to you: "You are a wonderful person."
4. Jot down what you would feel like in that moment (ex. nervous, skeptical, creeped out, manipulated)
Notice that it isn't the words that made you feel those things.
It wasn't even the intention behind the words (because we can't actually know 100% what someone else's true intentions are).
You felt the way you felt because of the thoughts, assumptions and beliefs you have about the person delivering the words.
Your thoughts create your feelings and once you know this and it becomes second nature, not only can you choose to feel better, you can create love in your relationship in ways you never thought possible.
If you are ready to see how this can transform your life it starts with a free consultation.