Why I Never Recommend This Book

Posted by Erin Aquin on Aug 29, 2019 11:11:23 AM

By far one of the most popular books in the self-help for relationships world is "The 5 Love Languages". A lot of people are handed this book when their relationship is getting tough and I know it has been helpful for many couples out there. 

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But to be honest, I never recommend this book to my own clients.

The reason is that most people who come to me for coaching have tried this concept and it just became another thing to fight about. 

"My Love Language is receiving gifts and my partner KNOWS that but where are all my gifts?" 

or 

"She knows that my love language is quality time and since she isn't spending quality time with me it must mean she doesn't love me."

Then there are the people who tell me their partner is constantly trying to give them the things they want and yet, they still don't feel the love they expected to feel.

The reason this happens is because feeling love doesn't come from what someone else does or doesn't do.

Love isn't something that can be negotiated and still feel romantic (i.e. "If you show devotion towards me then I will affirm and validate you").

When you delegate your emotions to someone else, you are asking them to be responsible for two lives and that's a tough job that no one is qualified for.

What I can teach you to do is:

1. Figure out what you desire/want and need

2. Make the first act of love in your relationship giving that to yourself instead of waiting for your partner to do it.

These two things will change your life. So if you are ready to feel more love and have the life and relationship you want, book a free consultation with me here.

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